My Hideous Skyrim Helmet: Part 1

I have been saving a massive cardboard box in my attic for nearly a year. It is enormous*, large enough to contain me. I am about 5 feet worth of person.

For nearly a year, I have defended its presence, drowning out my husband's protestations against "clutter" with my insistence that, just as Michelangelo sensed the beauty hidden within a block of marble, I too would one day discover the hidden universal purpose of my cardboard box.

I would bring out the essential cardboard box-ness of the cardboard box.  

Within this bold declaration, I would inevitably close the attic door and completely forget about its very existence.

So a few weekends ago - surprised (as usual) to find it, slumped in a corner, I resolved to do something with it. Anything.

Out of sheer laziness, I resorted to Pinterest. My heart told me this would be a pointless endeavor, and after several variant, progressively specific searches...

cardboard + craft

cardboard + craft + no jesus

cardboard + craft + no jesus + no children + adult = this is not happening

this is tempting but also not happening

... I accepted that Pinterest has little to offer the artistic cardboard crafter. I mean, yes. I found a few amazing pieces - dresses, dinosaur heads, weapons, etc. - but anything remotely cool looked, to my disappointment, like real work. The kind involving skill.

{I should mention that I broke my wrist last month. Why I was compelled to try to craft something out of stiff, difficult-to-cut corrugated cardboard with only one hand on a Saturday afternoon, I have no idea. There are 11 entire other months this year in which I could have elected to do this! Why such poor timing? Why, cruel muse of cardboardery!!!!}

But I found one exception, thanks to the plethora of Cosplay bloggers, who have flooded social media with helpfully unhelpful tutorials, raising one's expectations that you, mortal, can readily mimic their mastery of Worbla.**

Behold: Skyrim Iron Helmet, presented by ByGoneEra!

Easy, right? Right?


*Some would point out that 5 feet does not make for an enormous person, but I believe it unequivocally makes for an enormous box.
** Foreshadowing.

Cat Portrait!

Would you pay someone to paint a portrait of your beloved pet? Having visited a street market this summer in Portland, and seeing that lots of artists market themselves as "pet portraitists," I decided to find out.

First, I snapped and filtered a picture of Kitty doin' what she does best: skulkin' and sleepin'.

I drew it out with a pencil... And I filled it in with watercolors.

I kinda lost interest in completing the background, which I suppose you'd want to complete if you were actually paid to do this.

Happy customer!

Halloween: Mother of Dragons

I like "Game of Thrones," though  not in a particularly obsessive way. But daaaaamn, do I love that Khaleesi's style!

I started this costume back in the summer, inspired by a video which made it look super easy.

It was not that easy. I knew immediately that although I could pick out some great ideas from this video (the belt!), I'd have to design my own top.

The video suggests simply tying it off in the back. Now, if you don't have tits or don't plan to move at all while wearing this costume, that's feasible. But I needed something a little more heavy duty.

Sidenote: Simplicity offers a pattern, but when I decided to make this costume, it wasn't available! Sold out, in the middle of June! Sheesh!

After looking at loads of examples, and pondering a simple tshirt upcycle, I headed off to Fabric Depot. I felt that even I, with my limited skill, could make a simple halter top with a snap button in the back.

But here's the thing. The #1 challenge in making a Khaleesi costume is not the actual sewing - this particular costume is extremely forgiving for novice sewers, as it's meant to look rough-hewn.

The tough part is finding the proper fabric.

As a quick Google search will show you, the top is a particularly earthy fabric. I would describe it as chunky, handmade linen rubbed in dirt.

This was not available at Fabric Depot, not by a long shot. I suppose if you really, really care about accuracy, you'll do a more thorough job of looking for something "matchy." 

So when I find a leather-looking, featherlight, slightly plasticy fabric, I called it good.

However. The second most difficult thing about this costume turned out to be working that damn pleather (maybe it wasn't totally pleather; I don't know fabrics). Fearful of its toughness, I didn't want to run it through my precious sewing machine, so I did everything by hand, with my embroidery needles. So far as hand stitching goes, this was excruciating.  

But never mind, here's basically what I did to make the top:

• First, I cut out the shape of the top. I left a LOT of fabric at the bottom for later editing.
• I made a small ruching at the point of cleavage. Is ruching a word?
• I cut out and braided pieces of the pleather and some linen to make a single chunky strap, which I then positioned and hand stitched into place. Important: make the straps tight and short. They will quickly stretch out, even if you are doing nothing more than wearing the top. I've had to tie off the straps behind my neck with a hair tie because they stretched out so much! And, be generous with your braiding. I used three strips of fabric, but I think more would have been cooler. If I'd had the patience.
• I got my husband to Sharpie up the point in the back where I needed a button to hold me in. This was then hand-stitched into place.
• I then chop chopped the bottom, to give it a raggedy look.
• I just happened to have this Irish pin which resembles that medallion on the Game of Thrones costume, so yay!

For the handwraps:

• I took scraps and fabric glued them to fit around my hands, and so they could slide off easily.

For the skirt, belt, & loincloth:

• I took the easy way out. I used the video's tips to make an overwrap piece out of some spare linen, and connected it simply with a pin.
• I had enough of the hellish plastic fabric to make a short skirt, and somehow, I had managed to cut out a hole in the center that was just about my waist-size. 
• The loincloth uses more of the pleather, which I glued around an actual leather string-thing. Handy for just tying on.
• The belt was straight from the video, and I got many compliments on it!
• Add tights and boots.

Yes, she wears a much longer and lighter colored skirt. I actually found one at my local thrift store some months later, and debated buying it, but it was $18 and really, how often would I be wearing this?

Although not accurate, I'll say that for my purposes (Halloween parties et al.) it was nice to have the shorter skirt option.

And, since none of my friends knew watch Game of Thrones, my inaccuracies went unnoticed.

Finally, the coup de resistance: the wig. I broke down and bought an "official GoT" wig from one of them pop-up Halloween shops, literally the day of the party. I thought it was outrageously expensive for something I'd wear basically just once and was staging a protest against it.

Until I realized it was also fabulous and completed the costume, and so dashed off for it.

I loved wearing the costume, and think it turned out pretty good!

The End.